Sabrina
by Escape the Chemical Reverse
Summary: A poem inspired by a Golden Retriever


**Hello all, I wrote this 4 years ago for my freshmen English class and thought I'd share it with you. So generally I really dislike poetry so you can imagine me when we were told of the assignment. But today is my Golden Retriever, Sabrina's 10th birthday. She meant so much to me, I grew up with her as my sister. I loved her very dearly with all my heart. She is and always will be my best friend and the only thing I have truly loved.**

 **In March of 2014 we took her to the vet for an annual checkup. The doctor found a tumor in her belly. When it was tested, the results came back as cancer. She had a rare form of blood cancer called Hermangiosarcoma. It is generally only seen in German Shepards and Golden Retrievers. So later that month she had the tumor removed. Originally the doctor thought the tumor was on her spleen, but it wasn't, it wasn't attached to any organs at all. That's when I thought everything was going to be ok.**

 **The surgery went very well. But then later the next day she wouldn't eat and was panting a lot. We took her back to the vet and they said she had gas in her stomach. They gave her pills and stuff. But ultimately they said it was a huge possibility that her stomach was going to twist and that'd be it. The vet said that they were sorry and that there is nothing else they could do. They said she wouldn't last the night. So that night we all slept next to her waiting and praying. By some miracle, her stomach didn't twist, and she was alright after that. I felt so blessed for that miracle**.

 **She was so happy after all that. Cancer free and enjoying life. It was so nice to see her like that. She played, her appetite was back, she went on vacation with us to the beach and played in the ocean. She loved to swim so much.**

 **Then in October she started acting odd again. Not eating, and lacking energy. We took her back to the vet and they said her cancer was back and it spread to her liver. We took her to specialists and they all said there was nothing they could do. The vet said she could last a week or she could last a month. That was one of the hardest days of my life. Knowing I would lose her... It made me so sad. I prayed and hoped and wished for a miracle**.

 **She got weaker and weaker. Not bothering to get up sometimes. She refused to eat and looked miserable. 4 days after her second diagnosis was when the worst hit.**

 **On October 21 2014, at 6:30am she tried to climb the stairs, my mom and I thought she had to go out, but when Sabrina turned around, she fell down the stairs. We tried to catch her but she fell to the landing. That was when we knew. She couldn't get back up, I was holding her and hugging her and she wouldn't even look at me, she was so ashamed. My mom called my dad and he came home from work and carried her to her bed. He put her down and she laid there before throwing her head back in pain. It was awful to watch and not be able to help her. Then, her limbs locked up and she had a seizure. That was the most painful thing to experience. It was terrible. It still haunts me. By then it was around 8 and the vets office was open. We picked her bed up with her on it and took her to the car. She had another seizure on the way to the vets office. When we got there, they led us to a room and laid her bed down. The vet gave her an injection and we were all surrounding her, I had my head on her bed looking into her eyes, stroking her head. There was so much pain in her eyes. And then she was gone. Her eyes were open and I still can't get that image out of my mind. That was the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life. It felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest and torn into pieces. I had just watched the life leave my baby, my best friend and my sister. It scarred me. That was the worst day of my life. Had to be sedated right after. I cried for days, weeks. Hell, I still cry for her. I wished a miracle would have saved her life.**

 **Sorry. I felt like I had to share her story. On to the poem**.

As I sat, cute and soft

Under the comfort of my siblings

And mothers milk

All I could think of was discovering the world around me.

Wondering, what is beyond this fence?

Delightful freedom? Or a cruel reality?

What is the fence?

Is it simply a barrier?

Or is it something more?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They come,

they take me away from mother

They take me beyond the fence

The world is full of treats and tennis balls

And long walks on the beach at sunset.

There's so much joy,

So much happiness.

I soon forget my old life,

And embrace this new one.

A life of cuddles and love.

As they stroke my soft fur by the fire

I can't help but think

It truly is a wonderful life.

 **It has been 9 months and 2 days. 280 days total. And the pain never goes away.**

 **Leave me a review if you feel like it. Please don't flame me. It took a lot of courage for me to talk about that. Happy birthday Sabrina. I hope heaven is all that it seems.**


End file.
